Our Homes, Our Families
Preparing to Be an Eternal Family
By Marco Castro Castro
There is no magic recipe for success in marriage, but the ingredients
are always the same.
My wife and I observed with sadness and amazement as some of our
friends went through the process of divorce. The first thing we felt
was the fear that this would happen to us if we found ourselves facing
difficult challenges in our marriage. When a serious crisis did arise
in our marriage, we decided to give ourselves one last chance--but to
do it in the right way. We had already been trying for some time to
solve our problems by taking one another's thoughts and feelings into
consideration. Our relationship would improve temporarily, but after a
time our problems always returned.
Not until we realized that the Lord needed to play a prominent role in
our marriage did our marriage begin to change. We realized that we
were never going to be able to work through, much less solve, our
conflicts by ourselves. Putting aside our pride, we did something we
hadn't done before. We forgot our own opinions and asked the Lord what
He wanted of us. Only when we included Him did our marriage start to
improve--gradually and in His way and in His own due time.
It has now been several years since we knelt at the altar of the
Santiago Chile Temple, and we have faced many challenges and much
adversity. Looking back, we can say that everything we have gone
through has been for our good. The adversity has taught us to be
humble and has made us stronger. We are still learning how to put our
lives in order--both of us learning to work together as equal partners
in love and understanding--and the effort has been worth it.
There is no magic recipe for success in marriage. The ingredients are
found, as they always have been, in the gospel of Jesus Christ. So, as
a family, we have written a declaration that we use alongside the
proclamation on the family issued by the First Presidency and Quorum
of the Twelve Apostles.1 Our declaration, titled "Preparing to Be an
Eternal Family," begins with these words: "We, the Castro Martínez
family, testify that marriage is ordained of God and that family
relationships can be eternal through the Atonement of Jesus Christ if
we are obedient to the laws and ordinances of the gospel."
What follows are 17 principles that in our judgment encompass the
basic gospel values that will give us the greatest chance for success
in our marriage and in our family. Our list is by no means
revolutionary; it includes things such as personal and family prayer,
scripture study, weekly family home evenings, attendance at Sunday
meetings, regular temple attendance, treating one another with love
and respect, and giving service. We also realize that principles by
themselves have no effect whatsoever--we have to put them into
practice.
Putting aside our pride and incorporating the Lord and His will into
our marriage have put us on the path to becoming an eternal family.
The author lives in Valparaíso, Chile.
Built on the Foundation of Faith
"Successful eternal marriages are built on the foundation of faith in
the Lord Jesus Christ and adherence to His teachings [see "The Family:
A Proclamation to the World," Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129]. I have observed
that couples who have made their marriages priceless practice the
patterns of faith: they attend sacrament and other meetings every
week, hold family home evening, pray and study the scriptures together
and as individuals, and pay an honest tithing. Their mutual quest is
to be obedient and good."
Elder L. Whitney Clayton of the Presidency of the Seventy, "Marriage:
Watch and Learn," Ensign, May 2013, 83.
http://www.lds.org/ensign/
-Sister Peterson
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